Sometimes I loathe being a working mom. I hate it that after devoting so much time to work as if I had a choice, I still got to come back and try so hard to bond with my baby to make sure she’s still close to me. And when she prefers someone else over me, it hurts me. I feel like I gave birth to a baby for those who have the luxury to spend time with her to enjoy at the expense of my motherhood.

small boobs

I just laughed at myself last night how ridiculously empty my top looked in bikini.

Strangely after pregnancy, I don’t really feel lousy about my small boobs anymore. I am able to fit them into my small bras properly without empty spaces now and that makes me happy enough.

TGIF

Tomorrow may be one of the best Fridays. It’s my last day of work before I go on my long leave. Three weeks hoho  ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ I’ll be going for my honeymoon next week!

And.. Tomorrow is also Dad’s birthday. Not that he reads my blog but happy birthday Pa! I realized you are turning 58 this year! Wishing you and mummy good health and happiness! Don’t work too hard and forget to eat.

Everyday wonders

After all day at work, coming back home to your baby is an amazing feeling I can’t describe… I guess only other parents would understand what I mean.

Simple things

When you have a roof over your head, food on the table, a loving husband and an adorable baby girl – what’s not to be happy? ( ॣ•͈૦•͈ ॣ)

my other half

In twenty-seven years of my life.. there has only been one man who conquered my heart. It’s going nine years and he continues to keep my heart safe and warm.

He is my first love…my soulmate…my man for life.  :>

Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.

There was someone who told me when I was 22 years old, that who I am right now isn’t going to be who I am going to be. Someday I will grow to become who I really am. The raw and naive me back then didn’t quite understand what he was saying.

Today I am 27 and I’ve changed drastically from when I was 22. I finally understood what he meant. The me today was moulded by years of life experience, largely from relationship and work experiences. What he didn’t tell me was that you might not love who you become.

For a period of time, I’ve been self-loathing, constantly comparing to who I was before. It was silly. I am not gonna hate who I am right now any more because even when I am being ugly and difficult, my husband kisses me before he goes to bed. I don’t know how he does it but if he can love who I am right now, why can’t I love myself?

It’s strange how we break, we cry, we tolerate, we forgive, we try to forget, we fail, we lose control and somehow after all that hurt and hardship, you stand up and build rainbows again. And somehow, you hope again knowing clearly that some days disappointment may revisit you.

I’ve learned the most important thing through this and that is – you do not give up. No matter how hard it is. If there is someone important for you to live for, there is no room for thought of giving up.

my obsession with weekends

My eyelids, heavy and droopy
From a tiresome work day
Yet my mind fights to keep awake
It’s still early, Friday night

Weekends, don’t go with the wind
I need more of you
For living, loving and laughing
With my precious darlings
Just stay longer
Before I head back to routine
To make a living for our lives